If I talk, he go be as if say my own too much. But, wetin man go do. If man talk, he go die, if he no talk, he go die too. Abeg, make man kuku talk joor. For all the men wey dey read this ogbonge tori, Abeg, no ever make mistake try surprise a woman oooooo... Especially una wey don marry. No talk say I no warn you oooooo. Na surprise wey my friend Ejike wan do for him wife land am for hospital so o. But, if at all any man want surprise him wife, abeg, no do the kind surprise wey Ejike do at all oooooo.
After the reception on Ejike's wedding day, husband and wife go their house, and we sef find our way. One month pass, two months follow, nine, ten, eleven months join, but Nneka no get belle. Small time, two years land gidigba like Dangote rice, but Nneka no gri get belle. Small time, Ejike family come dey trouble Nneka. Me even think say my friend dey enjoy him marriage, except for the pikin wey dey never born, I no know say matter no go the way I think at all. He get one day wey Ejike come my house begin dey cry. "Nneka...Nneka...Nneka" Na so him just dey talk. "Guy, wetin happen? Wetin do Nneka?" I ask him. "Wetin do Nneka abi wetin Nneka do?" Ejike ask me as if say I no wetin dey him mind. "See my body...see my body" Ejike tell me, as him draw him cloth up make I for see him body. Mark don full him body as if say him draw tatoo. "Wetin happen?" I ask am. "Na Nneka." Him reply me, as tears dey fall from him eyes like small pikin. "She say I come back late from work, and she no even let me explain before she start to dey beat me" My friend dey yan me as if say na one kind mighty person beat him. As oyinbo people dey talk, "Na how person want take greet the man wey madman kill him mama?" I no know wetin I go talk. I just sit down dey look my friend like Man U-Chelsea match. "Na so she dey beat me every time I come back late from work" Ejike add join. "Sorry" I try console my friend.
One day, Nneka complain about serious headache and cold. Na him Ejike and him wife go hospital after all the medicine wey she use no work. "Mr. Ejike, your wife is 3 weeks pregnant." The doctor yan Ejike. Belle sweet Ejike like Bobo and Happy Hour, him wife say she want go toilet, and na before she come back doctor don yan Ejike the pregnancy matter. "Doctor, abeg, no tell my wife oooooo. I wan surprise am" Ejike beg the doctor. Small time, the two of them reach house, na him Ejike kneel down like prayingmantis. "Honey, I am sorry." Ejike started. Nneka no know why Ejike dey beg her, but she accept him apology well well. "He don do." Nneka tell him husband. "Nne, he never do. Wetin I do, I no know if you go fit forgive me." Ejike yan. As Nneka hear that one, na so her eyes stand like radio antenna. "Ejike, wetin you don go do again?" She ask am. "I'm sorry" Ejike said. "Sorry for what na?" Nneka roared. Na that time Ejike supposed realize say water don pass Garri, make him for stop the yeye surprise. "I'm sorry. I don give woman belle." Ejike yan. For Ejike mind, he want just raise him wife mind up before him go burst the good news. But, matter change hand for am. "You do wetin?" Nneka ask him husband. She no even let Ejike answer the question before she start to the beat am. Small time, Ejike don dey under big and fat Nneka like improper fraction as him dey shout, "Honey, no be so. I was just joking. Na you I give belle." But, Nneka no even hear. Like soldier wey only hear go, Nneka do put Ejike for under dey beat am red and yellow (no be even black and blue). Na so my friend land for hospital oooooo....Abeg, make una help me pray make my friend no pass coma enter full stop ooooo...because the way wey doctor take cement him body ehn, Lazarus own dey learn.
(c) 2016. Austus Ofmat Nwanne
My people, na so my eyes see oooooo, and, make anybody no ask me how I take know the whole tori oooooo. Atleast, una don know before say na amebo department I dey. Well, if you no laff, na OYO you dey ooooo...and as for our readers outside Nigeria who has difficulty reading Pidgin, don't take offense. That is one of our ways of communicating here in Nigeria, and if una wan learn am, una must first stay Warri for like one year. Lolzzzz...This is where I'll sign out. For the rest of this week, I'll come your way with amazing articles. Takie.
Did you know that nomination for the Nigeria Writer's Award is still on? Yes. It's still on, and nomination would end this Friday. So, if you have not nominated me, kindly follow the link below to nominate me. Thanks.
http://tyobstacle.blogspot.com.ng/2016/07/nominate-me-for-nigeria-writers-award.html?m=1
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AUSTUS OFMAT NWANNE
Inspirational Speaker/Media Consultant,
Swift24 Multimedia Services.
Whatsapp :: +2348072970850
Instagram :: austus_ofmat_nwanne
Facebook :: Ofmat Austus Nwanne
Email :: Tackleyourobstacle@gmail.com
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